


Heartless

by igi_pigi



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Thor (Movies)
Genre: Angst, F/M, obviously
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-22
Updated: 2017-07-22
Packaged: 2018-12-05 09:37:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,403
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11575380
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/igi_pigi/pseuds/igi_pigi
Summary: Everything reminds her of him, it's funny. Wherever she looks, whatever she thinks of, usually and especially to get her mind off him, will eventually lead to him.[Set the night before Jane's date with Richard in Thor2.]For Day 6 of Fosterson Week - 'things that make you think of them'





	Heartless

**Author's Note:**

> If I'm waiting to meet up with a friend, and they are late by even a minute, my mind goes through every impossible scenario including their death and/or them abandoning me.
> 
> I can only imagine what Jane went through during those 2 years.

Everything reminds her of him, it's funny. Wherever she looks, whatever she thinks of, usually and especially to get her mind off him, will eventually lead to him.

The stars in the sky make her think of him. The stars under which he explained the galaxies to her. The stars under which they had slept that night, not together, but definitely together. But it's the thunder of the sky that makes her shudder. A tiny part of her gets hopeful that it's him, or he's somewhere near, at least.

Even the tiniest of things that have absolutely nothing to do with him remind her of him. The skillet he used to make breakfast with her. The cloth he hung over his shoulder (and looked so adorable). The chair he slept in. The pen he used to draw in her notebook. The freakin' pen even.

It's not funny, it's pathetic actually. He was in her life for just two days. That's it. How can a person who she knew for literally just two days leave such a mark?

Jane slumps further into her chair and pushes her books aside a little too aggressively, suddenly feeling irritated with everything. She is alone in her London apartment and it's late at night. This theory of possible aligninment through gravitational anomaly she is currently working on does have her intrigued. But she is not holding her breath on it. Wonder what he would have to say on it. Surely would be something insightful and...

It's been two years now. He is not, never coming back. That promise was a lie. She needs to accept this. He lied to her. He probably goes around throwing away that line to a myriad of girls he fools around with.

And why would he come back? For her? He is a God, he has everything and everyone at his feet to use as he pleases - the warrior prince who can have literally any girl he wants. And she thought he would come back for her - an insignificant human who cries herself to sleep because a guy didn't come back. That's laughable. He would have forgotten that she even exists the day he got back home, lost in the riches of his Asgard, riches Midgard could never give him.

She had started telling herself that she imagined the events of New Mexico. It was better that way. He was a wish fulfilment dream. A God from centuries old legend just happens to appear in front of her and only her. And he takes an instant liking for her and only her, makes pretty promises and leaves. This is what she told herself every night when she silently wept in front of the computer screens hoping against all hope that her equipments will track something. That it's better this way.

But then he appeared in New York. And it really was him. And not one of the million scenarios she'd imagined of seeing him again. Though this was certainly the worst. Because she was so far away in Norway.

But he could have found her, if he tried.

She'd looked through all the blurry videos posted by people online, and it really was him. His hair had grown a bit longer, and he kept a lighter beard now. It was him. He was here. And he didn't even bother to find her. But he promised... This was the guy she had been losing sleep over! How could he be so heartless? How could he do that to her?

She is going to knock his head head off if she ever sees him again. Does she ever cross his mind? Does anything at all makes him think of her for once? She doubts it, given everything would be completely different where he lives. Nothing to remind him of her.

Jane looks out the window, wanting to see the stars but notices that it's raining, although they are light showers, barely audible. As if the sky is crying too.

She nearly jumps at the sudden thunder roar, the lightning lighting up the night sky. Maybe it's him.

And if she had to put it out there, she would say he did taste like thunder, the God of Thunder. Not that she knows what thunder tastes like. But that's what she likes to think. Because he wasn't like anything she had known before, in the lone kiss she shared with him.

Despite herself, she sighs dreamily at the memory (which suspiciously sounds like a moan to her own ears). No matter what, no one can take this away from her. She had gone ahead and kissed him. And he had kissed her back. _He kissed her back_. All she wanted was for that moment to never end.

She would be lying if she said she hadn't thought of the kiss, or kissing him again. And other things besides kissing. She had thought of virtually everything (two years is a long time). Doing it with the God of Fertility has got be out of this world crazy, right? Would he be gentle? She would love that. Would he be rough? Oh, she would love that!

Those calloused hands would feel maddening on her soft skin. The weight of him upon her, and the feel of him inside her... she closes her eyes at the mere thought! She thinks she might die if it ever got to that. It'd be a good way to die.

And god knows how badly she's wanted to feel him. Run her fingers through his silky hair, hold them, or maybe pull them. Touch him - those pecs, those abs, and those otherwordly arms! Are those triceps even real?

She has lost count of times she has touched herself thinking of him, moaning his name. And though it feels amazing in the heat of the moment, the guilt and immense sadness that follows the next moment is just unbearable. The realisation that this will never happen. He will never be this close to her.

She is going to hug him so tight if she ever sees him again. Not let him leave even if he wanted to. Kiss his stupid face so hard, and kiss him again, and then kiss him some more.

How the hell did this happen? How did she become this mess of emotions over a person she knew for literally just two days? She shakes her head, eyes watering, and takes her phone to check her schedules for the next day, desperate to distract herself.

_Meet Richard - 10 am, Ledbury._

Oh, she almost forgot! The guy who approached her through one of her collegues at the research station. She couldn't have said no to such a polite invitation. And it's not like she is in a relationship or anything like that. And he'd seemed sweet. And she was in dire need to move on from a certain jerk. So here she is, ready to meet new people, finally moving on.

Moving on from what? They were not in a relationship, he was never hers. Yet here she is, burning herself over him. While he carries on with his life, probably going around shacking up pretty Asgardian girls. It's unfair! It's so unfair.

Jane gets up from the chair, and walks towards her bed, her small bed, it would barely fit him. Yeah, he's never going to be in this bed anyway. Bet his own bed would be big and comfy and soft all at once.

She had intended to get in the bed and sleep, shut her damn mind off for some peace. But instead of sleeping, she reaches out to the bedside table and pulls out the children's book from the cabinet, the same children's book Eric had bought ("to show you how silly his story was"). She holds it close to her chest and despite attempts at the opposite, starts crying.

"I hate you... I hate you so much..." is all she can manage out between her cries. She'll never forgive him for doing this to her. This stone hearted freak who didn't and wouldn't think of her for even one goddamn second and continues to enjoy his life of riches. Who completely forgot of her while she kills herself over him. She'll never forgive him.

Jane curls some more in her bed and hugs the book tighter, exhausted from crying, and waits for sleep to take over.


End file.
